Handler Info
Name: N/A
Email: N/A
AIM screen name: N/A
Wrestler Info
Wrestler's Name: Big Andy Masterson
Height: 6'7"
Weight: 350 lbs.
Age: 35
Music: "You can call me Andy," which is just "You can call me Al" by Paul Simon with Andy's voice breaking in wherever the word "Al" should be and saying "Andy"
Appearance: Fat. Big Andy is fat. The man wears size 52 pants. He's also tall. Hence, Big Andy. He wears a black T shirt with the white letter A in a blue circle in the middle, which he says stands for Andy but actually the shirt came from the gift shop of the New York City Transit Museum in Brooklyn, which features items bearing the markers of your favorite subway routes. So the A stands not for Andy but for the venerable IND 8th Avenue Express. [Good thing "Andy" starts with A and not a number...the cars on the numbered IRT routes are a foot and three inches narrower than those on the lettered BMT and IND routes, and Andy would find fitting into them difficult.]
Anyway, he wears a "cape" that strangely resembles a piece of a twin size Super Mario Bros bed sheet around his neck, which makes it easy for people to choke him. In the pants department he usually goes with brown sweats. He doesn't really like brown, but if he gets scared the brown pants can help avoid an embarrassing moment. He has medium-length brown hair, which is never combed by any stretch of the imagination. His clean-shaven gface usually bears a look of terror and/or confusion. His eyes are perpetually hidden behind a pair of mirrored sunglasses given out free at his eye doctor's office to prevent people with dilated eyes from getting blinded when they go outside. The "glasses" actually are just a tinted piece of celluloid film, really. They look sorta like Bret Harte's glasses, whoever that might be.
He wears two different cheap canvas shoes bought at Kmart, one yellow and one purple.
Background: Not much is known about Big Andy, but speculation is that he hit his head on something when he was a kid. His fashion statement might support that hypothesis, but people close to Masterson say that he was perfectly sane until he dropped a cracker with chili on it on the piece of paper on which he had written the phone number of the first woman who had actually talked to him at a bar in years. He then tried to clean it up with club soda. The stain came out but the effervescing action lifted the ink too.
"He was never the same after that," says a friend of Big Andy. "He was talking to that girl for 4 hours in the bar...he was paying so much attention to her that he only drank 10 beers, that's half what he usually has. She musta been blind or something. He dressed better then but he was still uglier than Jurgen Hosenmacher's mother."
Big Andy's friend had nothing else to say as he had to run from an angrier-than-usual Jurgen Hosenmacher who had overheard that last comment.
Alignment: Face. Cheating gives this man hives. So does vanilla pudding.
Wrestling Style: Brawling, and damn bad at it.
Finisher/description: "Don't touch me there!" any time his opponent hits a low blow on him, he will shout "Don't touch me there!" and start throwing random punches before falling on the mat in pain and getting pinned.
Favorite Moves (10+): Punching. Getting Punched. Getting punched repeatedly. Getting hit with a blunt object. Kicking. Crying. Crapping his pants. Getting pinned. SUPER TAP™: He taps out to a submission move. Getting choked by opponent pulling on his "cape".
Basic Entrance:"You can call me Al" by Paul Simon starts playing. The lights go out. On the big screen we see scenes of Big Andy Masterson in slow motion, waving as if to an adoring crowd. Illuminated by a lone white spotlight, Big Andy himself appears at the top of the ramp. As he walks to the ring, waving, no one pays attention to him. About the same time, his voice comes on over the music to replace the first "Al" in the song. Seeing that no one is paying attention to him, he runs the rest of the way to the ring and the music cuts immediately.
